It would be inaccurate to say that time has flown by, because there were certainly times that it felt like I would never get to sleep again, or times that I just wish that everyone could walk themselves in from the car. But, nonetheless, in two days the twins will be eleven months old. It's actually pretty exciting and a bit of a relief. At some point I started reading "It's Twins! Parent-to-parent advice from Infancy through Adolescence." I liked that it had experiences from twin families and it made me feel better about the craziness that our lives had become. Another feature this book had was questions that made me think about how things were since twindom. So, I had intended to touch on a question each post. But as you can see, I certainly haven't been posting that often, so I'll touch on a couple of the topics briefly just to summarize my experience.
Breastfeeding:
Oh, how sad it was to not cuddle and nurse my twins right away. I pumped as often as I could and had a supportive lactation consultant that made the teeniest amount seem worthwhile. To get the babies out of the hospital we had to prove that they could suck and swallow - so on to formula they went. I would nurse them for twenty minutes and then we would follow up with a bottle. When we got them home we continued to have me nurse a twin first for ten minutes and then follow up with a bottle. We continued this for about two weeks. At that point, the doctor was comfortable with their weights and felt like it was okay for me to nurse exclusively if I wanted. Oh, how much easier it is to not have to make bottles. We would still supplement with bottles if they seemed hungry or needed an extra feeding. Meanwhile, I would try to pump after each feeding to increase supply. Eventually, I felt good enough about my supply that I didn't pump anymore...but that probably wasn't until after they were four months old. I remember because Andrew and I decided to treat ourselves to an anniversary trip when the twins were about four months - July 15th is our Anniversary. We had a nice evening and went to a play in the outdoor Shakespeare theater in Orinda and then stayed overnight in the Lafayette Park Hotel and Spa (where we stayed our wedding night) and I was treated to a massage in the morning. I packed up the pump to bring along, but unfortunately forgot to put it in the car. I hand expressed twice during the night to alleviate the fullness, and actually felt pretty proud that I was able to do so. I felt pretty smart that I emptied a water bottled and filled it with the milk and put it in the fridge to bring home. I felt like I worked so hard for that milk, and then somehow when we got home it got pushed to the back of the fridge and wasted...oh so sad. I felt best nursing in the football hold tandem with both twins up until they were about six months and they would kick against the back of the couch and wiggle wiggle wiggle. Then I would straddle each twin over one leg and nurse them with them sitting up. During the night I would lay flat and let each twin kneel/lay across me on each side. This has still continued and even though their nursing has decreased during the day because they eat more solid foods, they still seem to nurse quite a bit at night.
Telling the twins apart:
When the twins were born there was about half a pound of weight difference so you could tell them apart just by one being smaller than the other. At some point I noticed Grace has a very tiny birthmark on her belly. But since you can't always lift up her shirt to see who is who, we searched for other differences. Though we adore Joy, Grandma noticed that Joy's ears stick out a little bit further from her head than Grace. She gave her a nickname of Joybama (after President Obama whose ears stick out quite a bit as well). People at church would try to find differences as well, and many would be able to tell Joy and Grace apart because of their face shapes. And then there were a few ladies that couldn't tell until I told them the Joybama secret, and they haven't forgotten since. What will we do when Joy has hair long enough to cover her ears?
Sleep:
Or lack thereof. Sleep during the first few months with a baby is tough, with two babies - it's exhausting. Fortunately during the first few months my mom stayed with us and she would sleep with one baby and I would sleep with one baby and when they would wake up, I would feed and we would trade. At around five months old, I started reading more and listening to a podcast on sleep and heard that babies older than five months should be able to eat enough to sleep a longer chunk of time. So I would try to nurse them a lot during the day and make sure they had enough before going to sleep. I made sure the room was dark. I had a white noise machine. Then when they woke up, I would try to give them their pacifiers and shush them back to sleep. One night I did this religiously and found myself exhausted the next day. In fact, that next night I put the babies to sleep in their crib and crashed on my own bed just on the other side of the wall. Andrew had been downstairs on the opposite side of the house and came upstairs to check on me because I normally respond so quickly to babies sleeping - he said they'd been crying for ten minutes, but I was out like a light in my own exhaustion. Next I tried attending a sleep workshop taught by a lady that was a mother of twins herself and I thought perhaps she would be able to provide some solutions. The stuff she said was educational - but in the end, it wasn't really for us. Yes, I do incorporate some of the things that I learned - like a quiet, dark room...but ultimately, it doesn't feel natural to me to ignore nighttime needs. So, we continued to co-sleep. Unfortunately, since Hope was still in our bed, that meant that Andrew moved himself down the hall to the guest room to get some sleep. Just in the past couple of weeks did we take out the empty crib and empty toddler bed and move in a full bed. Now I put all three girls to sleep in there and come in a nurse the twins when they wake. On good nights I go back to bed with Andrew, on more cumbersome nights I just stay and sleep with the girls.
Bumps and falls, climbing:
Joy started walking about ten and a half months and Grace followed behind around eleven months. They are so mobile and so fast! With Hope we didn't need a baby gate for the stairs, but with these two, they're always trying to climb up the stairs. They love to climb. We have toys they climb on and they are always standing on things they shouldn't. We have a toddler couch outside that they stand on and try to climb onto the toy kitchen from. Just yesterday, Grace fell from standing on the couch and bumped her head. Once I caught Grace on a little toy chair that has a small side table attached with a book, clock, and lamp attached and she was balanced on the clock! A couple weeks ago, Joy was standing on my lap while I was sitting in a kitchen chair and she wiggled and flung herself out of my arms. She cried right away, but wasn't interested in nursing to calm down from crying. Her eyes looked normal, but she was unresponsive to her name and wouldn't really make eye contact. I held her and tried to keep her from falling asleep. We determined she had a mild concussion and continued to monitor her. After about 40 minutes, she started to perk up and respond to her name. It made us nervous, and if it had continued longer than an hour we were prepared to go to the ER. She hasn't shown any other symptoms associated with the fall or concussion, so we're grateful.
Here's a video of some of the things the girls were doing during their tenth month. I can't believe their first birthday is two weeks away! It's been a wild ride.
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